I probably shouldn’t write, but some days I need to write to process the stuff in my head. I’ve been feeling a little down lately, trying to just stuff it and not really identify what is in my heart. Tonight it kind of all came cascading out into the lap of my husband, who of course wants to help but doesn’t really know how.
I was just telling Chris that before I had the baby I was feeling pretty good, I felt like I was making progress with my weightloss, and now that the baby is here, I see pics of myself or see myself in the mirror and well let’s just say I have a hard time seeing what I see.
I know, the baby is only 1 month old. I know. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m 70+ lbs overweight and the scale is not moving downward, if nothing else it’s gone up. I know I’m nursing, and I shouldn’t push it, but this is my blog and I’m venting a little because I need to. It’s just a hard season. I’m tired of being overweight. Tired of having back problems and having pain all the time while trying to take care of my kids, keep the house clean, and prepare healthy meals for my family…
I need you tonight Lord to give me a fresh perspective. I need to see myself through your eyes, and through my husband’s eyes. Sorry if you’re reading this and it kind of crushes your idea of Jenni Burns who has it all together, I don’t. I have hard days just like everyone else.
You can do this Jen. It’s a process. It takes one small decision at a time. Lucky for you, kids keep you busy. Focus on them and make constant positive steps to be healthy and you’ll make progress. Be patient with yourself! Time heals all wounds, right? Your body is still recovering from a rather physically taxing process. Like you said, Jack is only one month old. Cut yourself some slack. Love you!
I wrote a comment and then lost it somehow. I don’t think of memory verses very often, but this came to mind. I believe God expects us to show ourselves this kind of love and respect as well. We often beat ourselves up more than others. Be nice to you. Love you! “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Thank you Bronwyn, I love you cousin, good reminder. (FYI-the reason you “lost” your other comment was because I have comment approval turned on. The first comment someone makes on my blog comes to me for approval first, helps avoid a bunch of spam :) Love you!
I am always here for you and love walking with you all the way. Great post. It’s transparent with going into self pity. And it’s not a downer. More of a stake in the ground. Since we don’t bad mouth each other or fight on our blog and Facebook, it helps to only show the rosy side of our lives. This is integrity babe. I love you.
I love you too babe, thanks for loving me through hard times. You’re a wonderful man :)
You’re not alone, I’m right here with you! I just joined ‘my fitness pal’ for the accountabilty. Check it out. I lost 12! Pounds after having Evy. I typically lose 30.
A day at a time, baby steps, we’ll get there.
Thanks Amy, I’ll have to look into it! I know, I usually lose around 20 lbs after the baby is born, this time I lost about 12 too. But it probably had to do with gaining a lot less. Yes, a day at a time. Drinking my green smoothie for breakfast this morning :)
Jenni, you DO have alot on your plate and you will have days like these hon! We can do this its hard and yet there are so many rewards in it as well! Hang in there dear one. The Lord will see you through! Having a baby is no small task and the demands on you and your body its no wonder you are feeling a bit down! If you didn’t have bad days or feel down some days I would worry about you! :) It’s soooo normal! You are a precious and wonderful mama and your kids and hubby are very blessed to have you! Hang in there your doing a GREAT job! Try not to worry about weight you are nursing and it demands so much out of us I actually gain weight while nursing I hear its normal. Love you darlin’. The Lord is near!
Thank you Michelle good reminders :) I’m sure you’ve struggled with this, you know how you should be feeling in you mind it’s just hard telling your heart to line up with all that! Thanks for the encouraging comments. Now I’m off to chiro appts and doctor’s appointments!
I wish we lived close because you so often say exactly what I’m feeling. I’m here at the moment too. We had family photos taken a couple of weeks back, while Erin is still tiny. When I saw the family group I was so tempted not to have it because my big tummy is in full view. And I’ve been wanting to avoid our camera too. But my mum has always been so self conscious about photos so there aren’t many around. And I’m always sad about that. So I’m doing my best to suck it up and let them take pictures, even though I think I look awful, because I don’t want my kids tp regret the lack of pictures as they grow up. I’m the biggest I’ve been for a long time, but I’m trying to remember that this is just a short season in my life, and that I won’t be feeding the baby forever, then I can focus on my weight loss more.
I hope that these down days don’t stick around for us both. Let’s make a pact to enjoy our new babies and do our best to not think about our figures too much (or at least avoid mirrors!) until the little ones are a bit older.