I have a spectacular husband.
For instance, right now he is home with our four oldest children, ages 6 to 2 :) He sent me on an outing with Connor to get some things accomplished and have a day away from the children. Before I left, he was joking with me about wanting to become a controlling husband who never lets his wife leave the house, I didn’t think he was very funny and wisely he stopped joking, and told me how happy he was that I was going to have a day! :) I love him! (By the way, I wrote most of this a couple weeks ago, right now he is home with all five of our children, including Connor who has never taken a bottle yet, isn’t he’s awesome?!)
Six years ago Chris would have just about passed out if I asked him to stay home, by himself, with four children, ages 2, 3, 4 and 6!! But time, experience and need has worn him down and he can handle my job quite well for periods of time but he’s always thankful when I come home.
Here are a couple of things I’ve been thinking about lately.
Your husband will become what you put into him. So is it true? Can we really change our husbands to become what we want them to be? Like a mother trains her son to put the toilet seat down and brush his teeth at night? Hmmm, not exactly what I’m getting at. (And I think the answer to that question might possibly be no :) Here’s what I mean.
When I plant my garden, I put seeds into the ground and water and tend those seeds. When I plant a lettuce seed I fully intend to gain a lettuce plant. When I plant peas, I aim to produce some delicious peas, and so on. If I plant nothing I will gain nothing, and I can gaurantee that the weeds in my garden will certainly grow and produce seeds and reseed themselves if I do nothing about them. In our relationship with our husbands it is the same. If I want my husband to be cheerful and happy with his life and job no matter the situation then it is my job to plant seeds of cheerfulness in him. I can do it in many ways, by listening to his concerns, praying with him, offering him a possible other outlook, and I can also express a cheerful and grateful attitude towards our current situation, if he makes a lot of money then I use the money he provides wisely and save, if he makes a little then I can take what he brings home with a heart of gratitude and seek God to help make the money stretch. If he knows that I appreciate how grateful I am, it makes all those hours he works for our family seem to be worth while. But if I nag, and complain, and bicker, you can gaurantee he’s going to be a grumpy man, it’s pretty simple.
Is this leading him? No. We wives are called to be our husbands’ helpmeet. Does that mean we are a bump on a log, that we wait around for our husbands to mature in the Lord and magically grow on their own to lead us? Absolutely not. God gave us a purpose. We are the drive behind this powerful superman.
I remember when we were first courting. I had certain reservations about Chris’ maturity in certain areas. I can remember thinking that it was a little scary marrying someone with so many weaknesses (but that is why we usually marry yonger men and not our grandfathers!) We grow and mature together and your man will not always act as though he’s as wise as your father because he’s still a young man! ;) I decided during our courtship that I would always show him that I believe in him, even when my flesh is telling me, “he’s going to fail you, or he just failed you and he doesn’t deserve your trust!” I’ve watched this belief become the wind beneath his wings, it empowers him to accomplish great tasks.
The other day I was painting my girls room and thinking about Chris, and how much he has matured since our passionate days. This thought crossed my mind, “Chris is becoming the man I always dreamed of.” Not that I was dissatified when we married, I wasn’t. But one of my childhood dreams was to marry a “handy man.” Chris is becoming a handy man! With the purchase of our new home Chris is stepping into a whole new phase of manhood, it’s really amazing, and I am so proud of him, he really is an amazing man. There are times that I marvel about how blessed I am to have such a gracious and loving husband!
This entry is getting really long so I will end with this thought about believing in your super-man. I was driving home the other day, thinking about how I want Chris to become a better spiritual leader in our family. I hear so many women complaining about how their husbands don’t lead them spiritually. It actually really bugs me to hear these complaints, not that I have not had them in my head at times but to publicly whine about how your husband doesn’t measure up, doesn’t help anyone, especially not him. So back to my thoughts when I was driving; Chris is who he is, but he is also becoming more and more each day, the man who God is making him. My job as his helpmeet is to make him believe he can be all that he wants to be. Gently encouraging him to take steps in the direction that God is leading him, my encouraging words should lift him up daily and one day I know I will look back and see how far we’ve come together with God’s help.
I love my super-man with all my heart. My desire is that our home will always be a safe haven for him to come home to, and to greet him with my warm arms and loving acceptance no matter what kind of day he has had. Christian Burns, I love you with all of my heart. Every day I thank God that He has blessed me with such a man to spend my life and love with. You are a spectacular husband and father, I love you!
And by the way, I am so thankful that the same Father who is transforming my husband into a greater man is also patiently working on my character as well. I’m so thankful my husband loved me through it all!!