In answering a question about our fire…

Yesterday we received a comment from a. borealis about our recovery from the fire. Thank you for your question by the way, and to all of you who have asked how we are doing and to those of you who've prayed for us, we really appreciate it. Here was her comment... 

"In other thoughts, it amazes me that you guys have picked right up and moved on, even with your home burning down fairly recently. What, if any, effect does it have on your life today? Has it left any residual effect?"

In some ways yes, we have picked up and moved on, but really we've been in survival mode for a few months now. It's been 3 1/2 months since our house burned down. Those have probably been the longest three months of our lives together as a family, if not the longest in my life. I've continued blogging and I focus on the positive things and those that read our blog usually get a few glimpses of our life, mainly the good things. I guess those are the things I want to remember and want our kids to remember, but we've definitely had our good days and bad days. The hardest is certainly over, but I still have sooty clothes to wash, there are still journals rotting in our garage, I still have boxes that I have no idea what to do with, we still are in so many ways picking up the pieces. This last week Chris and I rearranged our house to be more "livable" and it has really inspired me to start tackling some of those things that I've been dreading. The plan is to get the house organized and then we will go after the garage (unfortunately by the time we get to the garage some of the stuff out there will not be salvageable, but that's okay one thing at a time). We've lived here for three months now and haven't hung any pictures, it would be nice to do that, it would definitely feel more like home. So yesterday I looked at our framed photographs thinking it would be good to start figuring out where to put them, but upon taking a look I was discouraged, our family photo was ruined from water damage and many of the others just don't look the same. So I guess I will put that off, more money, and more time and energy than I want to invest right now :) I'm thankful that the house we live in has colorful walls, it makes the emptiness not seem so empty, and honestly I haven't even really thought about it until these last few weeks. So yes, we have moved on, but just at a much slower and more unorganized pace than before. But I am extremely grateful to be 3 1/2 months away from the fire, those days I don't ever want to relive. They were hard days. Hard on our kids, our extended family, hard on our marriage. I'm thankful we are past those days.

What residual effect has the fire had on our lives today? I think any time you go through a trauma there is scarring and healing takes time. I think our daily routine has probably been affected the most. That and just little things here and there. I used to do so much with my boys.  Before the fire I was having them help me with so much, dishes, housework, laundry, cooking. And it seems that I've put them up with a movie so much more than I ever did before simply because I have a small amount of energy and I need to use it to get my dishes washed, or my clothes in the washer, or dinner started. The things that have affected us as a family, most of it will be changed back to normal just in a matter of time. I'm already starting to get a handle on the housework, I feel very encouraged in that area (and I think much of this has to do with being out of my first trimester of pregnancy, not being so sick and tired). I'm even going to get my sewing machine out this week and my friend and I are going to resume meeting once a week to work on projects-that is huge!

Would I trade this experience if I could go back and undo history? No. I think the things we have gained through this experience have been greater than what we can even comprehend right now. I wouldn't even trade it for my kids. This whole experience was definitely harder for Aidan than it was for the rest of us, and he still talks about it. But for the most part he doesn't worry about it, and amazingly he wants to be a fireman when he grows up. That is a comforting thought for me, just knowing that the thought of firemen doesn't freak him out. Without having gone through this situation Aidan wouldn't have a real life understanding of how God's hand protects us from harm, and how God provides for us when we are in need. Those are such valuable lessons that we need in life. I know my desire is to keep my children for all hard situations but amazingly God provides those hard situations so that we can grow. Chris and I had some real struggles those weeks after the fire, it was a very hard time emotionally, spiritually. But we got through it. With God's help, we are a stronger team today. I know that we trust God more, we trust each other more, we love our children more.

I think the only thing I would change if I could, I would somehow send a nice thank you card to everyone who reached out to us during the months after our fire. You just wouldn't believe how many people have blessed us, in soooo many ways the thought overwhelms me at times and I guess I just have to let it go and trust that they know we appreciate them. I just don't even know where we would be today without the generosity of so many. I can remember watching our house up in flames and one of the first things that came to my mind was, "we are going to have to file bankruptcy, we will never be able to replace all this damage." But God was faithful, and we have all we need today. Thank you once again, from the bottom of our hearts!