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Meta
Finding balance…
I'm in a process right now of changing a lot of things in my life. How I do daily life which includes so much, how I eat and what I feed my family, sleeping patterns, how I clean and when, how I respond to my kids, how I plan. Basically God has been really stretching me, pushing me to change and grow. It's hard. I have moments of great victory and then I have days like today. I had all these things planned for today, wake up and go walking for 1/2 hour before the kids wake up (and before Chris leaves for work), take a shower, feed my kids, clean up/do chores with boys, play with kids, make bread, thaw a turkey and bake it, make dinner, play with my kids. ( In the middle of all this we had a piano delivered to our house so I had to rearrange the living room for the piano :)
Mind you, most of the things I mentioned above were already planned. I had already shopped for the items I needed for dinner and my schedule (though it is still in my head) was set, and then I had an Eamon day. He has a cold, probably getting another tooth and he's extremely grumpy with new teeth. Anyway, to make a long story short, I got most of the things on my list done but was a wreck by the end of the day. I wanted to throw my kids out of the window, sit in a chair and cry. I didn't do those things but I did wash the dishes while my husband herded our children into the livingroom. Do you ever come to the realization that something is "wrong" in your life? Know what needs to change but not really how to go about making those changes? That is kind of where I am at right now. I feel God gently pushing me to be more diligent, more disciplined, and at the same time more patient and loving with my children. How do those things walk hand in hand? I'm not sure, but I think after today I have come to the realization that it is a road that I am on. God doesn't do the "beam me up Scotty" thing with us. He shows us where He wants us to go to give us hope and then walks with us on the path to get there and when we lean on Him, He is our strength, but when we expect results immediately we get frustrated and discouraged.
My plan for tomorrow. To talk to Aidan in the morning about God's mercies that are new every morning. About how today is a new day and every day we get to start over and "try it again." I plan to get a few of those essentials on my list done, feed my kids etc. and then hopefully get a few of those other things done while having a good time training my children in God's ways. All the while looking to my Father for strength and patience. I am so thankful that He is so patient with me! In the book that I am reading about chores there is a section on expectations. They talk about how we need to have high goals and low expectations for our children. Meaning that our high goal is that our children will know how to do these tasks well by the time they are adults, and low expectations so that we can continually praise them along the way. (This was really good for me to hear, especially right now!:)
Jenni, I want to encourage you about those expectations for YOU. I have tried to be one of those people who stick to a routine for every hour of the day but sometimes things just dont get done. I have gotten so disappointed if my all the things on my list werent checked off. You just put it on the list for tomorrow. And if it doesnt get done tomorrow, dont worry about it. It will eventually get done. Dont beat yourself up if some things dont get done. Just take it one day at a time and you will get into the routine. Have a wonderful day!
Thanks Amelia :)
Oh haven’t we all been there. Bless you as you grow by God’s grace. I’m just glad to know that I’m not the only one who has felt the earg to throw my children out the window! I’ve had two “holding times” with Morgan today and one with Elizabeth. If I ever need a hearing aid…I know why. I’m having to remind her that she is not the boss and when mommy says to do something she needs to do it.
So we can stand together and thank God for His amazing faithfulness, paitents, forgiveness and mercy! What an incredible God we serve!
Love ya!
You have just had a new baby. My hope for you is that you are not too hard on yourself. Those are alot of things to change at the same time. I would be feeling overwhemed just knowing in my heart that I need to.I love your desire and determination, but dont want you to feel like you have to be supermom. I sometimes feel like I have to be!! Then have to stop and say – What are my kids going to remember most about me. I can be really hard on myself about my house sometimes and have to ask What will my kids remember about me in the long run? It does help that I give them a nap at the same time every day and put them to bed by 8:00. This about the only schedule that I am adimant about. My kids can know structure and flexability at the same time(hopefully!).And it gives me time to have quality time in my day apart from them. Another thing I try to do is deep clean once a week, and pick up after each meal, kinda do a clean sweep. It really helps when I do it and when I don’t I just hope no one stops by that day! (smile! smile!) because things can get messy fast. Its hard to keep on it all but I figure it probably always will be, so I guess we can only make the best of it.
Bless you!
Tammie
Thanks Tammie, although this post was just a picture of one day (don’t we all have hard days at times?) I don’t live like this all the time! Just realizing I was a little off balance, but doing pretty good for the most part. I’m still on the same road just taking it a bit slower :)
hi there friend. Well some good advice is…when your day gets long or dreary or you lose focus just get the boys outside and give the some work to do like picking up stick or picking a dandelion bouquet for the table so that it is beautiful when dad comes home. Spank along the way with joy and a smile, too. No frowning needed. Be intentional in all you do (and it sounds like you are). It is to be expected to be exhausted at the end of the day with all the little ones. But, your low expectations and high goals will have the boys cooking the turkey and doing the dishes all by themselves in a few years. Granted you are sowing seeds now and that is a lot of work…and there are a lot of weeds to pull. Better to be exhausted and able to see that your children are growing the right way than to have so much energy because you ignored them all day (I know you don’t do that). And then after all that I like to remind myself that they are little. “only three, or only two or only three months etc” Good job Jenni! And also a reminder that the Lord said that we have His mind is also helpful. “I have the mind of Christ, I am more than a conqueror and I will not gratify the lust of the flesh by being cranky to my kids etc” What power there is in our Lord. What a mighty God!!! He is always able to help. And he tells us that “It needs be that trials come.” Oh the wisdom He holds. May you live according to the Lord all the days of your life. :)
Oh, Sis. I love you candidness, if that is a word. I feel ya! I felt that way the other day! I wanted to throw myself out the window and cry! For me, it was just more stupid hormones reeking havoc on my poor body! Estrogen dominence! It’s from Satan! I’m thankful for the forgiveness of those that we love and the ability to freely move on. I think of that verse that talks about I don’t do what I want to do, but I do what I hate. Ugh! I need to find that verse. The beauty behind it all is that he started something good in us and he’s going to complete. Sanford is always reminding to forget about the past and think about the future. I press on to win the prize! Yeah!! Love you! You’re beautiful and I love you and you are a great mom and wife. Sometimes things just get to be too much for our poor futile bodies to handle and they kind of implode, yeah? Glory be to Jesus, his power is made perfect in our weakness! I’ll see ya in 20 days! Yeah!!!
I’m still trying to find that balance. :)
A lot of times we see what is needed and we say thank you God, I’ll work on that and attempt to take it from there. It helps me a lot to know that He isn’t frowning on me when I don’t do things perfectly and I can continually go to Him for help. I tend to be really critical, both of myself and the children, but I’m really trying to depend on His grace and not look at my performance so much. :)
Thanks ladies :) Going outside to read while my boys play in the dirt and will need baths when they come in but we probably wont give them to them because we are going to forget the low sugar thing tonight and going to Red Robin for Mile High Mud Pie! Hey, it’s almost Mother’s Day!!
Jen, I am so proud of you. Proud that when you have these bad days, that you pick yourself up, and after a good nights sleep, (or not so good, depending on how your children slept) you begin a new day with a new resolve. Thank God for your husband, who encourages you so much, and helps as much as he is able with the care of the house and children. I too often found my self feeling overwhelmed with the cares of life, feeling as if I’d never get it right, and retreating into a book, so I didn’t have to think about my failures. So much better to face them head on, and with God’s help, “fight the good fight”! I’m proud of Tamara as well, for fighting against the hormonal changes, recognising them for what they are, not blaming other people for the bad feelings, and working to find a solution! I wish I had you girls to learn from when I was going through all those things myself (though I learned other things from you when you were little :) ) I love you both!