A learning moment

A couple nights ago I asked my husband if he would take the kids somewhere after dinner so that I could do some cleaning. I have been so tired and nauseous that it has been really hard to stay motivated to clean during the day with the kids running circles around my feet, or running circles on my lap on the couch ;)

So the plan was that he was going to take them to the mall and let them play for a couple hours while I clean like the wind (which is hard to do when you feel exhausted to start with, although I did manage to clean up quite a bit!).

We had bundled up the kids and they were seatbelted safely in the car and as I was giving them their goodbye kisses I just had this terrible feeling that this would be the last time I see these wonderful men in my life. It's a horrible feeling, have you ever felt like that? I may have kissed them a few times more than normal and I could hear Aidan yelling out the window, "bye mommy!" like such a big boy, so proud to be going all by himself with daddy (and Eamon) somewhere.

I had to dismiss the feeling. And quickly said a prayer of safety to my Heavenly Father over my precious boys (all three of them), what on earth would I do without them? I can't think about it, I surely would get nothing done if I continued to dwell on the thought.

Having cleaned for about 2 1/2 hours, my mother-in-law (after I had decided that the dishes could wait until the morning as I was quickly losing steam) showed up and did all my dishes-she is so wonderful! She blesses me at times when I think I will lose my mind! I love you mom! So after mom and dad left I finished a bit of cleaning while I waited for my men to come home. Chris had taken them to Home Depot and they drove around in the race car cart for like two hours! I was sitting by the front door reading a newletter when I heard Aidan coming in the front door flowers in hand, it almost made me cry! My little boy is learning how to bless his mama from his daddy, he is a great teacher. Aidan rubs my shoulders and always asks me, "mom, hurts?"

After giving my husband a big squeeze and telling him how much I appreciated the couple of hours all to my messy house I told Chris about the feeling that I struggled with as they pulled away from the house. He then told me that shortly after they left the house Aidan said, "pray, mommy?" So they prayed for me and a little while later he asked daddy again if he would pray for mommy. I wonder if he saw the concern on my face when he left me behind. Or maybe the Holy Spirit spoke it to him that I needed prayer and comfort. Who knows. But it just makes me realize that our children have so much to offer our families, what a blessing these children have been to us. They are not ours. They are His. And I make it my goal to thank God everyday for the time that I have with them here on earth. Help me Lord to come to You like a little child, with a heart full of faith and without a care in the world knowing that my life rests in Your hands.