Today I had my first midwife appointment, great to talk to my wonderful midwife Michelle, chat with her about this pregnancy a bit, share my concerns with her about my 8th birth, 10th pregnancy. We also chatted about this new genetic testing they offer for women that tests with extreme accuracy for triosomy and other defects. The difference between this test and an amniocentesis is that it is done through the mother’s bloodwork, so the risk to the baby/mother is nearly nonexistent. Kind of amazing if you think about it. They can also tell if you are having multiples, and the gender of the baby, all at 12-14 weeks gestation. :) So for the first time I opted to have this testing done, not because I would choose to abort the baby if I were to find out if we were having a baby with say Downs, but because I would want to know, but I would never choose to have an amniocentesis, for any reason that I can think of simply because of the risks to both mom and baby. Anyway, interesting. :)
So at the end of the appointment, she tried to listen to the baby’s heart beat. I wasn’t hopeful because I’ve never heard the baby’s heart beat before 11.5-12 weeks, we are only 10 weeks 3 days. But would you know, she got that baby’s heart beat, and it was nice and strong. I was very pleased. It truly is amazing to once again hear that lovely sound. The swoosh swoosh swoosh of the beat of life, inside of me and beside my much slower beat. I can’t tell you how in the middle of my busy life, full of blessings and challenges, it truly is a blessing to slow down for a few moments and take in this precious feeling. God, in His great mercy has seen fit to bless us with another precious life.
Alongside all of the feelings of joy, I’m mixed with emotions and thoughts of my other dear friends and family members who struggle with fertility. Who long to have this “problem” with fertility that I struggle with, being altogether “too” fertile. There is this part of me who wants to keep these moments to myself, knowing that I have a cousin who yearns to hear that beat of life inside her, just once. So I offer this post as a prayer to our Loving and Merciful God, please hear the prayers of my dear sisters, and comfort the arms that long to hold life. Dear Father, we trust in Your sovereignty, and our hope is in You alone.
Fully aware that this may very well be my last child I carry in my womb, I am truly doing my best to treasure every moment (although I’m going to be honest, I really look forward to the end of October, and the end of morning sickness) :) I’m so looking forward to feeling the baby move, and having a little more energy in the second trimester! The kids are so very excited about this new one, and have been excited to see what our baby looks like each week. Jack is so sweet, he will often put his hand on my tummy and say, “I LOVE our baby Mommy!” Little one, we are all looking forward to meeting you in a few months!
Oh and about the title of this post, when I came home from the midwife appointment, I told the kids, “Hey guys! I got to hear the baby’s heart beat at my midwife appointment!” Aidan said, “is it a girl or a boy?” I said, “It’s a baby!” :) He didn’t look impressed. He’s disappointed that we don’t want to find out the gender until the baby is born. Deal with it.